


Here I've Lost, Here I've Prayed

by ryukoishida



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, post episode 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 14:04:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8581384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryukoishida/pseuds/ryukoishida
Summary: Guang Hong finds Leo sitting on the steps outside the stadium after Leo’s disappointing free skate. There’s nothing Guang Hong can do – he knows this – but he will be by Leo’s side, always.





	

He knows this is how it works. 

Leo de la Iglesia barely feels the sharp wind against his face when he steps out of the stadium and into the chilly Beijing night air. 

Nobody is ever guaranteed a spot on the podium until the last skater has skated, and sometimes small mistakes or even the judges’ biased appraisals on program components can be a difference between a medal and nothing. He has been in enough competitions to know that by now, and he treasures each chance he gets on the ice, each opportunity to show the audience what he loves and cherishes. 

Yesterday, he stood third after the short program, and his heart had been burning with flames of determination, his body surging with the lingering energy that has been carried onto the next day. With the Grand Prix Final just at the tips of his fingers, a disappointing free skate and the suffocating feeling as he felt the tower of confidence residing in his heart crumbling has snatched it out of his grasp, leaving his fingers cold and heart drowning with regret.

Perhaps he’s been too full of himself after all.

“I’ll work hard in the U.S. Nationals,” he’s whispered to his coach in the kiss and cry area, forcing the bitterness back down his throat as he tried to ignore the cameras. He wasn’t lying when the words left his mouth. 

It isn’t his first loss, and it won’t be his last. But the defeat is still hard to swallow, and the invisible heaviness is pressing against his chest, making it almost too painful to breathe, so he excused himself from the rest of the skaters who were watching the remaining competition. 

Leo takes a seat on the steps in front of the building, his breaths coming out in small, white puffs that dissipate into the darkness, and he zips his jacket all the way up. It doesn’t help much. 

The courtyard surrounding the Capital Indoor Stadium is deserted, and only the bright white lights on the side of the building are scattered against the concrete, creating sharp lines of contrast. 

In the distance, traffic is rushing as is usual within the busiest district of the capital, and the world keeps turning. 

“L-Leo-kun?” A soft, uncertain voice calls out his name from behind, and a shadow drops over him.

Leo blinks, his friend’s gentle tone like the spot of water refuelling his withering soul, pulling him out of his muddy reverie, and for a moment, he doesn’t understand why his vision is suddenly so blurry. He sniffs noisily, head turned away and chocolate-brown hair, free from its half-ponytail and covering his eyes; he rubs his face fiercely with his sleeves and when he finally turns around to face the other boy, there’s a smile – barely there, trembling and ready to collapse – along the edge of his lips. 

“Guang Hong, what are you doing out here?” His voice is cracking a little but he hopes his friend won’t pick up on it. 

The skater with honey brown eyes takes it as an invitation and sits down gingerly next to Leo. 

“I was worried about you,” he replies, not really looking at him, and he blows warm air into his own palms and rubbing them together in an attempt to keep his fingers warm. Even with the winter jacket and wool scarf wrapped cozily around his neck, Guang Hong is sensitive to the cold, but he can’t leave his good friend out in the dark dwelling in thoughts that threaten to drown him. “It’s not like you to leave so abruptly…”

“I’m sorry,” Leo combs his forelocks back with shaking fingers, and he turns properly to look at his friend, “I didn’t mean to worry you and the others. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. It’s not like it’s my first loss or anything; you’d think I’d be used to it by now.”

“It’s always hard no matter how many times you’ve experienced it,” Guang Hong says, gaze focused on something ahead, and Leo remembers that he isn’t the only one who’s tasted the bitterness of defeat tonight. 

“It must be worse for you though,” Leo chuckles, a little hollow, no warmth in the sound, “you were skating before your home crowd, after all.”

“That’s what I was thinking, too, you know?” Guang Hong laughs, and it’s somehow timid and self-deprecating all at once, and that complexity causes something deep within Leo to twist and turn. “While I was doing my SP last night, all I could think of was how I have to push myself through it and become the hero that my people expects me to be. But tonight, after my first fall, I figured: well I won’t be able to catch up at this rate, so I might as well just immerse myself into the performance and enjoy the moment.”

Guang Hong doesn’t tell Leo about the fantasy his mind conjured up while he was skating his FS; it’s too embarrassing, but the image of having Leo as his ally – someone who he looks up to, someone who he can depend upon, someone worth protecting – it’s a thought that calms the young skater, a notion that roots him to the ground as he danced elegantly across the ice to the enthusiastic applause and gasps of the audience. 

“There’s always the Four Continents and Worlds,” Guang Hong reminds him with a smile, and it’s quiet and tender, full of hope, and when Leo looks into those gentle eyes, it’s like he can taste it too – the sweetness of spring that chases the chilling bitterness in his blood away. 

“You’re right,” Leo murmurs, a genuine smile begins to grow along his lips, “you’re absolutely right, Guang Hong!” 

He jumps to his feet and extends his hand out towards the younger boy, who’s blinking up at him in astonishment at Leo’s sudden change of mood. “Come on, let’s go back inside. I’m freezing!”

“Okay,” he nods with a small smile, glad that Leo seems to have returned to his cheerful self, and places his hand into Leo’s. His friend pulls him up with ease, but he’s not letting go of his hand. 

They are both cold and shivering out here, but Leo feels a stream of warmth flowing within him the moment their fingers are clasped together, like a prayer of two voices and souls joined together in that one instant. 

Guang Hong’s brows are drawn into a confused frown, “Leo-kun, what are you…?”

And that’s when Leo tugs him closer, and lowers his head to plant a slight kiss on Guang Hong’s chapped lips. 

“Thank you for coming back for me,” Leo whispers, and the words come out in a rivulet of white haze that blurred both of their visions for a few, long seconds.

When he reels back, Leo observes with delight as the blush that’s the usual trademark of his friend spreads across his cheeks, making those smattering of freckles stand out even more on his pale skin. 

“Y-you’re welcome,” Guang Hong stutters, and then he’s biting his lower lip, and he thinks he can taste Leo, as brief as that kiss has been, as lovely as it was. 

“Come on,” Leo pulls Guang Hong along as they run up the stairs, hands linked until they step inside the stadium once more.

**Author's Note:**

> There it is, my first YoI fic! I hope I did these cinnamon rolls justice. Sobs.


End file.
